Wednesday, November 26, 2008

60 - A different kind of ornament...

So as you can see from the pic, yesterday was Alex's 37th birthday. In addition to his birthday, we also celebrated Thanksgiving as he will be flying on Thanksgiving Day. We made the whole dinner - turkey (18 lbs, I might add), stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, rolls, and gravy...topped off with this homemade birthday cake for dessert. Tonight we are having all the neighbors over for leftovers.

Part of this week's festivities has been putting up the trees. We have two trees - one downstairs that is eclectic and one at the top of the stairs that is our airplane tree - nothing but airplane ornaments. Since we have both been in aviation for awhile, we've collected about 50-60 of them over the years. And tradition has been that every year I give Alex one or two more airplane ornaments to add to our collection.

This year was no exception - but the airplane ornament I gave him this year had a little twist. It is the ornament pictured above - its box was titled "Playing Airplane". When I first saw it, I stood there with the box forever - should I, shouldn't I, should I, shouldn't I...well, I did.

And I know the risk. I know that it might end up being one of those little purchases that we end up grieving when our third birth mother changes her mind AGAIN. I know as we start the adoption process that even adoption is not always a guarantee. But we are in a situation where our only options involve risk - we have no choice. And as the holidays approach, the only thing I have control over is not allowing that fear associated with risk to take over and destroy our hope.

Alex loved it, by the way. He cried. I think he thinks it's worth the risk, too.


DAVs said...

That is an adorable ornament. I love it that you went ahead and bought it. It does show you have hope in your heart, and that's a good thing.

The other day, when Lee was playing the show at the bookstore, right behind where he was playing was a little Curious George doll on a scooter. Now, we have amassed a massive CG collection starting about ten years ago..and naturally it's still all boxed up waiting....But my immediate instinct was to buy the little scooter one--because I don't have it and it was cute. Then of course I backed away, teared up, started overanalyzing everything, and didn't buy it. But that instinct was there. The hope is still there.

I love love love ornaments and love that you have two trees (we do too!).

Viola said...


I am new to this blog and after reading your story-I had to chime in. My husband and I started the IVF process in October. Our first cycle was canceled due to producing only two follicles. That was devastating. We did IUI instead, but of course to no avail. Now that I look back on that experience, I realize how naive I was to the whole process. It's hard to believe that I actually thought a cycle couldn't be canceled! Anyway-we started again and this time I had 7 eggs retreived, 4 fertilized and 3 transferred (no viable frosties). I am 5dpt. Couldn't help but take a HPT today and it was negative, but I realize I am early. At least I know HCG is gone. 12/2 is D-Day blood test (2 days b4 my Bday).

Anyway,your blog is inspiring and I pray for you. You deserve to be a mommy and I know you will be.

Age-40 soon to be 41 YIKES! No issues other than the "age factor"
DH-40-all good.
One cute Yorkie-Manolo, my furry baby! (Yes, named after my favorite shoes)
Living in the "Big Apple" NYC.
Deperate to be a mommy :-)

Lisa said...

Good for you!!

For buying that ornament and holding onto hope.

You will be a mommy someday. I hope this year is the start of something truly wonderful for you.d

Polly Gamwich said...

That is too cute. And I hate the consultation you had earlier. Like this process isn't already tender enuf? Who needs that?

And about the keeping it up on the ttc front ... I feel for you on that. It's just so hard. Maybe there's a way you can keep taking the prenatal's but not worry about the timing? ... is that even possible? I can count my CD's in my sleep!

Emily (Apron Strings) said...

Very adorable ornament! I'm glad you decided to get it and that your hubby loved it. And belated Happy Birthday to Hubby!

Anonymous said...

I was so touched by your post. It made me think back to your earlier post and I WILL be an awesome mom. And Alex sounds like he'll be an awesome day. Happy Thankgiving!

Jill said...

What a beautiful ornament and I love the symbolic nature. I hope you will be a mother very soon. Your child will be very lucky. :)

Lost in Space said...

The ornament is beautiful and is such a symbol of hope. Thanks for your comment on my blog. I am new to yours and have read back a bit and want to say what an amazing attitude you have. I'm so sorry things did not work out at CCRM.

This journey is not an easy one and our babies may not come to us in the way we had always thought they would, but we will be the best mothers and fathers out there. Our babies are the most wanted on the planet and will always know how much they are loved.

Everything we do is a risk and gives us potential for hurt, but it also gives us potential for the most amazing parts of our lives. I hope this ornament is only a small glimpse of the good things to come for you. Many hugs.

Rela Pantaleon said...

Hey, Just dropping by to check on you... I was teary eyed reading this post. Wishing you both strength on this new road on the familiar journey.

Arpee @ The Saga of Becoming Fruitful