95 - It's always something...

This is the phrase I probably heard the most from my parents while I was growing up - I forget which parent...maybe both. The electricity would go out..."It's always something". Someone would die...."It's always something". The vacuum would break..."It's always something.". So when we got the news that our NT Scan and blood work came back "positive", it is no surprise that "It's always something" was the phrase that ran through my head.

I knew something was up when my ob called on Tuesday and left the following message - "Hey, Christina. It's Dr. H. Give me a ring at the office. I'll be here till 4PM.". Obs just don't call to see how things are going. I figured it out before I called him back that he was probably calling with our results, and since he was calling at all, the results were probably "abnormal". So Alex and I had the discussion before I even talked to the doc. We wouldn't terminate, therefore, we wouldn't follow-up with an amnio.

Yes - it was a positive test. He said the average risk for Down's for someone my age is 1/110. Any test the comes in at a higher risk than the average is considered "positive". With our NT scan, the blood work, and my age, the risk for us came back as 1/60. That means rather than a .5% chance that this baby has Down's, there is a 1.6% chance. Or, another way to think of it is that there is a 98.4% that the baby is fine.

Of course we would have rather had different news, but I am happily surprised about how we have dealt with this. I feel like it is a true reflection of all the hard emotional work we have done has individuals and as a couple. First of all, we know the inaccuracy of this test and we are aware of the high probability of false positives. Secondly, we intimately know someone with Down's - Alex's sister. It is not an unknown to us, which makes any probability of it a lot less scary. I can honestly say this positive test has put little to no damper on the excitement we are feeling about this pregnancy. The part I am happily surprised about is not necessarily our decision itself - I have no judgment about what people decide to do with this information. It is such a personal choice. I am most happily surprised about our clarity and the fact that we are on the same page...whatever that "same page" may be.

I've been feeling movement. I'm getting big. And when I push on my stomach in certain places, I can tell I am feeling the baby's head. We just want to enjoy the rest of this pregnancy with as little medical intervention as possible.

So - in other news, the summer has been great. Perhaps one of our best. After we returned from Dublin, I went on another trip with Alex to Valencia, Spain. It was a beautiful city. We spent a lot of time on the beach. Some women were topless, and I was so tempted to rip my top off as well. I have nice boobs right now. I've never had nice boobs, nor will there probably be another time in my life where they are this nice. I wanted to show them off. But I resisted. Too bad...

This week we are visiting Alex's aunt in Ohio. Then a friend of ours whom we haven't seen in ages is coming up to see us and go to the Ann Arbor Art Fair next weekend. Then we are going to an air show...I'm working the beer tent for our Women in Aviation group. Lots of other summer plans, and the next thing I know, I'll be back teaching and 6 months along. I guess my parents were right...It is always *something* :-).

Some pics from Spain...

94 - Fish and chips and other adventures...

Well, I did make it to Dublin with Alex last week...and got the fish and chips which were delicious. Yes, yes - I do realize the phallic nature of the fish on the plate. HaHa. It was a nice, but quick trip.

We headed to Washington, D.C. to visit his family last Thursday and picked up Emily on Friday. We went to a museum one day, had dinner with friends/family, had a pedicure/manicure, and went to one of our favorite D.C. restaurants - Nam Viet. I absolutely love Vietnamese food. There is just something about it that is so flavorful and comforting to me. It was nice trip. We are now back hanging out in NYC. Alex was on "short call" today which means we couldn't really head into the city. So we relaxed in the crash pad today and had an authentic Italian dinner at a local joint called Vincent's. I'm eating my takeout cannoli as I type. Do you see my trend of focusing mainly on the food?

Tomorrow he will switch to "long call" which means we will be able to trek into the city. The plan is to spend the day at the met and then hopefully venture into the village for dinner. Actually, I don't know very much about New York...I just wanted to sound like I do ;-). If Alex doesn't get a trip by tomorrow night, we'll probably head back to Ann Arbor on Thursday.

As for new news in the world of pregnancy:

1) I got a public recognition at the subway last week when someone offered me their seat.
2) It doesn't matter if I have just emptied my bladder - if I sneeze, there is a 90% chance I will piss myself a little.
3) I love having boobs. Plain and simple.

93 - Will Kill for Food and Hoboken Adventures...

So, we made it to NYC yesterday. As we were driving to the airport in Detroit, I suddenly felt a sense of panic. It was 11:15ish and our flight departed at 1:30PM. I asked Alex "Can we talk about the food situation and what we are going to do about lunch?". He laughed. This is so out of character for me...I am so not HM (High Maintenance)...well that folks, is slowly a changin' ;-). We decided we would eat at the airport Chili's. I was STARVING when we arrived there about 12:15PM...and this was after consuming a Danish in the car to the airport. After what seemed like hours (but I'm sure was only like 5 minutes), a waitress stopped by and said "I'll be right with you"...more "hours" seemed to have passed. I felt like I was going to strangle her if she didn't get "us" food pronto. Seriously. There is this instinct inside of me now that makes me believe that I could really hurt somebody over food. I think Alex got scared of the smoke rising from the top of my head and my red, possessed eyes...he talked to the hostess and she took our order.

Flight was great - first class. God, I love first class. I'll admit - I am a total diva when it comes to first class travel...because with our travel benefits, it is how we travel probably 95% of the time. How spoiled am I? So much so that when we thought we were going to have to sit in coach the whole 1 1/2 hours from DTW to NYC, I bitched (Alex did too, actually). Oh no - it wasn't good enough we were flying for free. Here's an admission - sometimes, I won't go with Alex on trips across the Atlantic if there aren't 1st class seats available. I know, total diva. But this is my only diva thing...I buy clothes at thrift shops and get my hair trimmed at Fantastic Sams. Truly.

So once we arrived in NYC, we went to his "crash pad" (the place were he stays when he is in NYC waiting for trips) in Howard Beach. I'm glad I got the chance to see it - it makes me feel better about him being here as it is a nice place. Then at about 5PM we decided to do the hour and a half trek across to Hoboken. Have any of you seen the TLC show "Cake Boss"? Well, the bakery is in Hoboken. We went there. I was surprised that the bakery was pretty much empty. We bought some pastries, and as we were walking out, I asked Alex to take my picture...just as he was doing so, "Mama Maria" came out. She was so excited that we were taking a picture in front of the bakery - she struck up a conversation and got in a picture with me. As she was walking away, she said "We're on tonight -10PM, TLC". Then she proceeded to tell her friend how exciting it was that people would actually want their picture taken in front of the bakery. Ahh, sweet Mama Maria...so new to fame. Give it a couple of months...I bet her excitement will slowly ween.

We had dinner at the Sushi Lounge...vegetarian for me, of course. It was delicious. Then we met up with this girl we knew from our college who is also a pilot for Delta and had "drinks" at this very chic bar called Lua. It had such a great view of the city. Of course, my "drinks" consisted of a virgin dacari and a couple of cups of mint tea, but it was still fun. We socialized for about 3 hours, then started the trek home at about 11PM...I won't go into details, but we got home at 2AM...I'll just leave it at that. It was a great day.

So today, Alex has a trip to Dublin leaving at about 7PM. Mmmmm...Irish pubs mean fish and chips...It looks like there is a pretty good chance I'll get on (1st class, of course, in my thrift shop duds). As for today, our plans were to hang out in the city, maybe go to an art museum and have lunch in Little Italy, but it is pouring and thundering right now, so who knows.

****

In other big news...my niece is pregnant! That's right - my NIECE. So here's the scoop - my sis is 17 years older than I am and had her kids pretty young. My niece is actually 26. Did you think it was a teenage "oops" story? Nope - they (her and my nephew-in-law) will be bringing the baby into a planned and stable situation. Her due date is February 2nd (mine is now somewhere around Dec. 13th). Our kids will be very close in age...and will hopefully have a close relationship as well!

92 - NT Scan

Last Thursday was our NT Scan. Everything is fine. It is amazing how they make that determination by measuring the very small neck fold. See that bright spot at the base of the neck? They want it under 3.0mm. It was. Above 3.0mm would indicate a high probability for Down's.

Once Alex and I made the determination that we would have the test, we also had the discussion about what we would do with the information. We would do nothing except be a little more prepared for the news when the baby arrived.

Alex has a sister, Emily, who has Down's. She is one amazing human being. She gives and receives love better than most. She lives in a very nice group home with a couple other girls and a house mom. Her house is also nicer than most homes in appearance. She works at Subway - has been for several years. She loves to shop, listen to her CDs, and watch TV. She really loves to watch TV - so much so that when she was limited on her TV viewing time, she took about 15 pictures of the TV screen throughout an episode of Full House, printed them, and made a "Full House" book that she could look at when the TV was required to be off. Brilliant. She also is a supreme judge of character. If Emily is not showering someone with affection - beware - it is probably not someone who deserves it.

So for us, the decision what to do with this NT Scan information was clear. Of course we are thrilled that everything is fine, but we are also pretty convinced the world would be a better place with more Emilys.


And Emily, if you really did run for President, I would totally vote for you!

More to write...hopefully I'll fit in another post before I start traveling with Alex tomorrow.

91 - Tazmanian Devil unleashed...

Yes, the second trimester is here...and my inner Tazmanian Devil has made an appearance. I am bouncing off the walls with energy...as if I am making up for all the down time in the first trimester. Here is just a sample of one of my days lately...

6AM-10AM - Wake up bright eyed, and spend 4 hours catching up on about 30 friend emails I've neglected and submitting work-related paperwork and insurance forms.
10AM-12PM - Decide it is time to clean out the pantry, fridge, and freezer. Lay a bunch of stuff to cook on the counter.
12PM-1PM - Decide to do some touch up painting in the dining room.
1PM-1:30PM - shower, but also decide to paint my nails.
1:30-3PM - Errands, including the tailor, the post office, the grocery store, and a half hour walk around the mall for exercise.
3PM-4PM - Pick up Alex at the airport. Stop for a little ice cream treat on the way home.
4PM-6PM - Cook. Cook. Cook...all that stuff I cleaned out from the pantry. I had about 4 pots going on the stove and a couple of things in the oven. Alex walked in and his eyes got really big...he said something along the lines of "I really like the second trimester".
6PM-8PM - Went to a Women in Aviation Chapter meeting at the airport.
8PM-9:15PM - Had dinner with Alex and a fellow Women in Aviation member.
9:15-12AM - Had some friends over...actually, this family I use to babysit for from when I was 12 till when I was about 18.

Now does the above picture make sense? And this started about 3 days ago and hasn't let up...I think I am having a small taste of what it is like to be on Speed.

Lots more to write about. Yesterday, I had a meeting with the university where I teach at in regards to fall and winter semesters. I'll right more details later. And I think I am going to do some traveling with Alex in the next few weeks...and...and...and...

I trust that even Tazmanian Devils get tired at some point?

90 - Our 28/38 baby...

This is the title of the email I sent to our CC.RM nurse with an ultrasound pic attachment. What is the significance? 28/38 were our first two betas. Tomorrow I will be 12 weeks in the eyes of CCRM - although the baby measured 11w3d at today's ultrasound. Completely on track since the first ultrasound at 5w6d, but I think we will officially celebrate the end of my first trimester this weekend.

My BF, Lauren, and her son Aaron came with me to this appointment because Alex is out of town. They weren't going to do an ultrasound, only the doppler to hear the heartbeat. But when the ob saw that I brought my BF along, he did an ultrasound anyway. I really like him, and this just sealed the deal. And it was on top - not transvaginal! What a treat after so many transvaginals throughout this infertility process.

I also graduated from CCRM today. No more meds. My nurse said that after being on the bottom for so long, I was actually graduating at the top... without meds, my progestorone was 44 and my estrogen was 1200.

So really - only one baby in there? After 5 ultrasounds, I guess they are right. Seriously, I look a lot bigger than 11w3d. The scale at my ob says I've only gained 2 lbs this trimester, but I think the camera is saying something different...



ADDITION: I have one box of Endometrin and about 16 vivelle patches left. I'll send them to whoever needs them , shipping on me. Just send me an email. First come, first serve :-). I know our insurance didn't cover then Endometrin until I was pregnant, and it was over $125 a box...and those patches weren't so cheap either. So someone please take advantage of this. You can email me at acdispatch@yahoo.com.

89 - It's the same, right?

I read in one of those pregnancy books this cute little suggestion that you should make the most of your time with your pets before the baby comes...that your relationship with your pet with never be the same. That's what I'm doing in the above pic - aside from trying real hard not to puke, I'm making the most of my time with my Kharma.

So the other night, DH and I were lying wide awake in bed. I hesitantly said "Please be honest with me. Have you thought "what have we done?" at any moment in the past two months?" Silence. Followed by a very comforting "Yes.". Thank goodness! I felt so much better. I have too. I've been reassured by many that this is a normal and healthy feeling, but for some reason, after going through infertility and trying so much harder than the average couple to make this happen, I didn't think we'd have those moments. I slept well that night, knowing that even though we have fears, at least we both have them.

The next morning, I was cuddling with Kharma on the loveseat at the top of the stairs while Alex was getting ready in our bathroom. Our conversation went something like (not exactly like, but you get the idea) the following:

ME: "You know how we leisurely wake up at 9AM, then Kharma sleeps till about 10:30AM at which point she often just quietly sits at the foot of the bed and waits for me to come get her? It's going to be the same with a baby, right?

HIM: Of course. And you know how when her food is gone, she just stares at you for while, and if you don't respond because she has already gotten her allocated food for the day, she eventually stops staring and goes and lays down under the end table. That's the same with baby, too?

ME: Absolutely. And you know how when it's raining how we skip out on the walk and instead just let her out in the backyard to do her business and then we pick it up about once week or so? Same right?

HIM: Sure. And you know how once every 6-8 weeks we hand her over to someone else to get groomed. Those services exist for babies, right?

ME: Why not? Oh and those last minute trips where we jet off to Europe for the weekend and call up grandma and gramps or L (also last minute) to take care of Kharma...same thing with the kid?

HIM: Ummmm.....

Ah well, we got a good laugh. I'm glad we are openly discussing our fears and concerns with a touch of humor.

We are sorting things out. Thanks for the helpful comments on the last post. Since then, DH has been great. He set little baggies of saltines in various locations around the house and refills them when they get empty (which happens a lot these days). He leaves Wednesday morning for a possible long stint away, so this morning he stocked the fridge with good food...he obviously did some research, informing me he got some walnuts "for the omegas" and dried ginger "for the tummy"...and he noticed my feet have been exceptionally dry, so he also picked up some Burt's Bees foot lotion. I loved all the gestures...they were very thoughtful. Not the typical "here's some flowers" to smooth things over, but gestures that were very specific to pregnancy - things I really need right now. I was impressed - even more impressed when I found him reading my "I'm Pregnant, Now what do I Eat?" book :-).