Saturday, November 8, 2008

55 - How much is that doggie in the window?

Too much. $750 to be exact - that's basically one month's payment towards our IVF loan. We just can't afford it right now, but isn't it the cutest? This picture warms my heart. I am all for getting a dog from the Humane Society, but with DH's allergies we are pretty limited to shit-tzus and poodles. With encouragement from a friend, I have been searching the shit-tzu rescue sites. So if anyone reading this blog knows of a shit-tzu or poodle looking for a home, let us know!

I received a Resolve email the other day about coping with infertility and the holidays. There was a whole PDF file listing suggestions...a lot of suggestions centered around avoiding children, of course. I'm not so sure how I feel about that. One thing I have discovered in the last couple of weeks is that I still really love being around the children I know - the children of my friends and family. It's the random kids at the stores that sometimes get to me (although I'm finding that less and less). So I think I may not take Resolve's advice on this one and instead dive into the holidays with both feet. I did a trial run today and did a little holiday felt good. I know in my heart that someday we will be experiencing this season with our own kids. So rather than feeling blue, I'm trying to allow myself to just fantasize about what that time will be like. For example, today I saw one of those "count down to Christmas" things - it was wooden, folk artsy, and had really tiny cute drawers numbered 1-24. I spent a lot of time checking it out and fantasizing about what little surprises I would put in the drawers for our children. It was fun. And I felt hopeful, not depressed. Imagine that - hope. What a concept...I might even go back and buy it :-).


DAVs said...

Oh man, that is one cute little doggie!
I so hope you can find a rescue dog that fits the allergy requirements--having two myself they make the most awesome pets! They're usually a LOT cheaper than 750, too! I think we paid 150 and 200 for ours, but of course they had all their shots and were infertile--er, spayed and neutered. :)
I go back and forth on the being around kids things. My niece and nephews are older and I love being around them. But for some reason, being around my friends young kids--all who were conceived and born during these last 3.5 hellacious TTC years--is much much harder. It makes me feel like a horrible friend, but usually the feelings never translate to action (ie it's not like I say to them "I can't see you with your kids")...I usually just grin and bear it like always.
Anyway, I LOVE Christmas and however Soda and Seven turn out I keep telling Lee I refuse to let it alter my holiday bliss. I'd put up my tree today if it were socially acceptable.

Thanks for all your love and support on the blog.

Sorry to hijack your comments section with this marathon one...

Polly Gamwich said...

I have to agree with the pp, I LOVE children who were born prior to all these struggles - can't get enuf of them. But I have a hard time with little ones born when my babies should ahve been born. Although, I will say that I am THRILLED for any infertiles who have babies ... it feels like a win for the IF community. I also don't have a hard time with women who are fertile but have endless compassion for me. I love their babies too.

It's all so hard, I wish it were easier. I love that you're hopeful though, I do the same thing. Fantasizing b/c I *know* someday, somehow, we will have children ... and lots of em!!!!

Linda said...

Awww, what a cute puppy! I have a shih-tzu! In fact, I've posted pics of her on my blog:

I guess I'm just a bitter infertile. Seeing other people with children makes me so green with envy, I can't stand it sometimes. I wish I am more like you...