First of all, no response from Stupid Adoption Lady. That's ok - I didn't need one. I just hope she thinks a little bit more before she speaks when she conducts future consultations.
Alex just returned last night from a trip to Cairo. I was reminded of the trip we took to Egypt in 2005 (the above pic). It was amazing and thought-provoking. We stayed in Cairo for a few days, going to Giza and some other local sites. Then we took a trip up the Nile (ending back in Cairo), visiting all the temples and tombs along the way. I'll never forget a pivotal moment in my life that happened while I was standing in a tomb, looking at this mummified body before me. The air was stale, and the walls were covered with carvings that would put most modern day artists to shame. The Egyptian laying before me believed that as long as he mummified his body, he would one day return to that same body and then continue to live on Earth for eternity. He also believed that the complex carvings on the wall of food, weapons, and servants would actually come to life, so to speak, when he returned to his mummified body so that he would be taken care of. He believed the pyramid structure would serve a purpose in assisting his ascent into the heavens and his return to Earth. His entire life was dedicated to these beliefs and a majority of his time on Earth was spent in preparation...at the expense of others, I might add (slaves were used to build most of the pyramids, that is if you don't believe the opposing theory that aliens constructed them :-)). His investment in his beliefs well outdid any dedication to a belief system we see in modern day. Guess what? As of 4,000-5,000 years later, that Egyptian was incorrect. His mummified body and the carvings remain (not to say he can't return in a different way :-)).
It was at this pivotal moment that I vowed to never be stuck in my beliefs. I vowed that when I started to find myself getting "solid" in my way of thinking, I would think of that Egyptian, put the warning flags up and expose myself to a different way. Hence, my most recent relationship with Rev. B, whom I just call B. I mentioned him in an earlier post. We meet for an hour or so every couple of months and have a discussion. I mainly express my angst with organized religion and the idea of a monotheistic diety, and he listens a lot, sometimes nodding in agreement, sometimes speaking up in an attempt to "unstick" me. It is the perfect balance of philosophical banter and free therapy - for us both. I get the feeling that although B has very much outwardly defined his beliefs through his role as a reverend, he doesn't like to be stuck either.
In our latest discussion, we talked about people who reached their full potential during this lifetime on Earth. These people truly became "fully human" we decided - people like Jesus and Ghandi, for example. We then continued to try to define what we meant by "fully human". In the end, we decided that to be fully human was to be able to take the struggles you are facing and use them to manifest compassion and wisdom within yourself and others. We agreed that being "fully human" had nothing to do with the specifics of their struggles, as many struggles are beyond conscious control, and that those who achieved it defined themselves by this compassion and wisdom they manifested through the process; not by the struggles they faced.
Wow - what a great thing to strive for...and challenging! I've been testing it out this week, changing my mantra whenever I find that I'm defining myself by my particular struggle (which I do often). I've also changed my blog list title to "My wise and beautiful blog friends". I share a current (or for some, past) struggle of infertility with most of the listed bloggers. I very much admire your strength and ability to share your humanness so openly. And as I continue to follow your blogs and write my own, I see our wisdom and compassion for ourselves and others grow. I wanted to formally identify you by your beauty and wisdom...infertility is just the particular struggle we have in common as we strive to become fully human.
Thanks B for unsticking me...for a little bit, at least. I'll be back :-).
And yes, I do realize that although I stated that this blog would be about life in general, the last two posts have been about adoption and infertility. What can I say? That's life through my lens right now :-).
2 weeks ago