67 - Yo dawg, that was just alright for me...

These are the words I have been hearing lately from Randy Jackson as I rock out Beyonce's "Crazy in Love", Kelly's "Since U've Been Gone", and Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer". Yes, folks, it's true. I now have American Idol Encore 2 for our PS3 (thanks to DH). And I will admit to you all that I have spent about 7 hours in the last three days pretending that I am a rock star and an R&B deva. It has been so much fun...just what the doctor ordered. I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who needs a break from their real world.

I would like to take this opportunity to recognize the other black man in my life these days...Billy Blanks. I have been working out with Billy and his Tae Bo moves pretty religiously for the past couple of weeks.

These two gentlemen have provided me with ways to calm my mind down. Usually, my mind goes a mile a minute all the time...here's a sample minute...

"What would Freud think about that? Is there a God? Why can't I fit into any traditional religion? Why do I care? What am I making for dinner? I should try something new. I need to challenge myself. Wow, the world is so big and I am so small. Why does this matter? Why does anything matter? Where's our baby? I hope Alex doesn't get bit by a bug in Africa. I can't wait to see what Obama does for our country. What's for dinner again?...blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda."

Constant.

But when I'm rockin' out Beyonce or "double timing" it with Billy, my mind quiets. And thanks me for giving it a rest.

66 - T-shirt ideas...

There is no way to really recap the last two weeks (or more!) since my last post. Just busyness. Craziness. Scattered. Unable to catch my breath. Recovering from a bad holiday. I need to lighten up. I can be too intense...serious...full of myself...too much in my head. I'm either giving every bit of energy I have to something or giving nothing at all. Most times, there is no a balance. My one New Year's resolution is simple - lighten my mental load so that my heart has more of an opportunity to be heard.

So in the spirit of lightening up...I have had this on my mind since about a week after our BFN. It came about while I was trying to figure out how we could finance our adoption process or further treatment. I was thinking of "fundraisers" of sorts...and as twisted as it is, this is an image that came to mind -


Ha! I know, I'm crazy. And I'll send an apology out early to anyone I may have offended by making light of the situation, but what else is there to do? I'm done sitting here being angry and bitter about it all. I'm a fun, free-spirited person...at least I use to be. I miss her. This intense, serious, obsessed, super-negative chick is really a drag to be around.

Anyway, anyone want to go into business making a line of t-shirts for us infertiles? Then we can prance around Target midday and make all those lucky ones feel like asses for wearing their highly offensive "I can grow people!" shirts...see Ashley's post at planetdavila.blogspot.com for the story on that one!

Here's to a lighter 2009...

Revision: Great idea, Jill! Here is an update. I added the pink and baseball style to make it a little more interesting...as well as a warning and invitation (depending on the circumstance) on the back :-)